I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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