can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
