that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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