Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize