hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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