I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
