I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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