Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
