We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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