Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
