Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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