i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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