yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
