theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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