toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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