this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
