dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
