I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Everything about him screamed your future.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
