I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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