yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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