I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
