Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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