Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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