if i can run in heels then i can drive
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize