You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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