look no pants
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize