I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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