marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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