note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
