How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize