I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
