I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize