is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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