My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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