Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
