If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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