after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
