i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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