I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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