What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
