nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
