We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
