he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
