What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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