"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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