Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
