all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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