Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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