he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
