She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
