Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I want to have your abortion
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
