I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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