we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
