I have demons in me.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
