You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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