I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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