I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
