Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
