She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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