I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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